You know, apparently this version gives us more back story on the killer because that's what male slasher fans want. And Real View says 'Halloween' is nothing but standard order with unimpressive acting. The Long Island Press yawns: conventional gore that neither shocks nor surprises. Variety sighs: leaves nothing to the imagination. Unidentified Man #4 (Actor): (As character) Trick or treat, baby. Unidentified Woman #1 (Actress): (As character) Michael Myers. Unidentified Man #4 (Actor): (As character) So what kook are we movie tonight? Musician-turned-gore-guru Rob Zombie gives us his take on that legendary homicidal maniac Michael Myers, not the successful comic actor of 'Austin Powers' fame, but the homicidal maniac of a slashing thing. And the New York Times wails: a tedious, pandering time-waster.Īnd for those of you just wishing someone would re-make me popular 1978 slasher film 'Halloween,' well, it's your lucky day. Watching this crude thriller feels more like a life sentence, declares the Hollywood Reporter. LEGAN: The nation's critics feel like the victim here. Unidentified Man #4 (Actor): (As character) You just bought them a death sentence. Unidentified Man #3 (Actor): (As character) And I'm coming for the rest of your family. Unidentified Man #4 (Actor): (As character) Do you hear me? Unidentified Man #3 (Actor): (As character) You go near my family and I'm cutting out your guts. Hey, even though this isn't quite Charles Bronson and a version of 'Footloose,' we do have Kevin Bacon in a sort of, kind of 'Death Wish.' While not quite a version of the famous '70s revenge flick, Bacon plays a mild-mannered family man who becomes a vigilante after a horrible crime in 'Death Sentence.' And Entertainment Weekly warns: 'Balls of Fury' is a joke of a title in search of a movie. USA Today snarls: uninspired and sophomoric. Even though the Toronto Globe and Mail chuckles stupendously silly but viciously funny, almost everyone else cries foul. LEGAN: Critics want to paddle someone for this. Unidentified Man #1: (As character) What? Unidentified Man #2 (Actor): (As character) You will not hit flies. You've got me hitting balls and spoons and swatting flies now. Unidentified Man #1 (Actor): (As character) Oh, come on. Oh, what a Labor Day potpourri we have.Īnd let's start with 'Balls of Fury,' a wacky comedy from the guys behind 'Reno 911' that tackles the secret world of underground ping-pong tournaments. MARK JORDAN LEGAN: What better way to say goodbye to summer than with a zany comedy about ping-pong, a slasher flick, and Kevin Bacon teaching a bunch of creeps they've messed with the wrong character actor. Here's Mark Jordan Legan to fill you in on what critics are saying about some of the new releases. If you're heading back to school next week, this will be your last truly free weekend in a while to go to the movies.

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